Dove

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Paloma

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Elephant

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Elephant in the Room: The huge issue that everyone knows about but no one dares comment on. Cyrano's nose.

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Forearm

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Forearm: Between the wrist and the elbow. Prepare for battle.
Aftarm: Rear spar on a ship.
Spar: Practice boxing.
Boxing: Packing for shipment.
Pack: Carrier.
Carrier: Ship for delivering and launching planes in combat.
Combat: Boxing with the forearmed.

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Precinct

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Precinct: District:
Postcinct: Aftermath of Titanic.
Intercinct: Between the cincts.

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Systolic

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Systolic: Peak blood pressure in the arteries.
Apostolic: Blood pressure when the Pope speaks.
Hyperbolic: When the Pope speaks.
Colic: Baby condition.
Folic: Acid.
Hydraulic: Liquid pressure.
-ic: Suffix meaning "of or pertaining to". Oddly applied to addicts of alcohol; alcoholic, chocolate; chocoholic and the rarely heard: caffeineic and heroinic.

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Chuckles

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Chuckles: Candy bar, clown noted for seltzer-down-pants.
Buckles: Cinches.
Huckles: With berries and Finn.
Cuckolds: Betrayed ones.
Knuckles: Mystery-movie yegg.

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Larrup

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Larrup: Flog.
Stirrup: Boot holder on a saddle.
Stir up: Cause commotion.
Chirrup: Chirp.
Burp up: Belch.
Curple: The curvy part.
Purple: The color which Royalty is born to. Also Oprah.

Festus in Gunsmoke oft would say of vittles: "Them was larruping good and toothsome."

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Andale

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Hoo-ha

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Hoo-Ha: Privates.
Privates: Expendable soldiers.
Soldiers: Broad-shouldered warriors.
Shoulders: Top part of torso.
Torso: Body.
Body: Everything, including hoo-ha.

Click on title for story about a famous hoo-ha doctor.
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Stern

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Stern: Aft. Stern, Isaac: Violinist who saved Carnegie Hall. Stern, Bill: Sportscaster.
Aft: P.M.
P.M.: Prime Minister.
Minister: Succor:
Succor: Futbol.

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Complect

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Complect: Plait.
Complicate: Add unnecessary elements.
Complicitous: Togetherishness.
Complimentary: Free.
Complementary: Additional
Complitudinous: Worthy of compliments.

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Wain

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Wain: farm wagon.

John Wayne is a farm wagon with an outhouse.

Wayne Newton is a farm wagon with a fig.

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Minim

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Minim: Outsider, fluid measure, half-note."If I maximize my minim I will still be an outsider. If I minimize my maxim I'll have a small gun.
Maxim:Aphorism, protagonist of Rebecca, big gun.
Mino: Flip camcorder.
Minion: Enough men.
Mini: Short, short skirt.
Minox: Spy camera for observers of minis.

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Kymric

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Kymric: Welsh
Welsh: Fail to pay a debt.
Debt: What is owed.
Ode: Poem of praise.
Prays: Requests divine intercession.
Divine: Fat movie star.
Star: Large body in the sky.
Sky: Character in Guys and Dolls.

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Factotem

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Moop

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Moop: Push with nose, criminal.

My cat will push with her nose anything movable on the counter until it topples over the edge and falls on the floor. She then hunches over the precipice and stares at the object.

Click on title for many more definitions; none definitive.
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Plum Chili

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Plum Chili: Quite cool.

"Why it be plumb chilly out tonight, Zenobia".
"Sho 'nuff be's Clem".

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Geoduck

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Geoduck: large clam, pronounced gooey-duck.

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Carbon 14

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Carbon 14: Dating Service.

Click on title for screwball defense of Genesis.
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El Dia de Los Muertos

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Cringle

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cringle: Hard grommet.
Kringle: Santa.
Pringle: Conservative Potato Chip.

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Inure

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Inure: Get used to.
In your face: Get used to it.
You're in: You've got the job.
Your'un: Belonging to you.
Your on: I'll take your challenge.

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Pigeons

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Pigeon feeder at Warwick Castle, England.
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Cosmoline

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Cosmoline: Goo used to protect weapons from rust and to get the goat of anyone trying to remove it.
Vaseline: Petroleum jelly.
Jelly: Goo, made from fruit and sugar.
Sugar: Sweet stuff.
Stuff: Anything, including cosmoline.

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Blush Brush

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Blush brush: Sable applicator.
Crush hush: Secret heartthrob.
Gush mush: Throbby novel.
Plush flush: Zsa Zsa's swirl.
Slush rush: High on dirty snow.

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Tun

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Tun: Large cask.
Bun: Round bread.
Dun: Demand money.
Fun: Haha.
Gun: Hooha.
Hun: Warrior.
Nun: Habitual prayer.
Pun: Hoho.
Run: Hightail.
Sun: Big Mama.

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Swash

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Swash: Bluster.

"Avast, ye blighters, buckle yer swash or I'll ventilate yer gizzards, yaaar!"

Squash: Mash, ball game, vegetable.
Squish: Mash.
Swish: Wiggle.
Swoosh: Nike logo.

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Fungible

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Fungible: Capable of becoming a mushroom. Same-o_Same-o. Interchangeable.

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Applause

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Quibble

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Quibble: Dicker about trivialities.
Dibble: Poke holes.
Kibble: Pet food.
Nibble: Eat fastidiously. Munch lightly.
Sybil, sibyl, Cybele: Woman with personality disorder, goddess.
Ish kabibble: Merwyn Bogue

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Coarse

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Coarse: Rough.
Course: Path.
Cours: Hearts.
Coors: Beer.
Cooers: Pigeons.
Cooders: Rys
Coopers: Barrel-makers

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